Long-distance relationships: our upcoming year.

Good evening lovelies! What I want to talk to you about today is a bit tamer than yesterday... long distance relationships. Later on this year I'll be moving to Europe while Mr. S will be staying in England, and to be honest with you, I am scared. But we've decided to write about how we're preparing for next year and hope to get lots of feedback from you guys, whether you're in a LDR or not. This is the first post of many in what will become a sort of diary about the changes our relationship will undergo...

Before Mr. S and I had even met, I was aware that I would be leaving England for a year to further my academic study in Europe. 

Alongside this, I am an avid linguist, I've dedicated a lot of time in my life to learning new languages because I can think of nothing better than travelling to far-off countries and being able to communicate with the locals. That's how you find the best restaurants. 

And to top it all off, one of my main academic focuses in the past years has been English, though even if it hadn't been, literature is a huge interest of mine. Since I was young I've wanted to get into journalism as I love to write, and around year 10/year 11  (9th/10th grade) I really got into the genre of travel writing for some coursework pieces and read so much travel journalism. 'This is it' I thought, 'this is exactly what I want to do'. And to be quite honest, my feelings and dreams haven't changed much since then. I'm at an age now where I can see myself working for a top-end magazine and I'd be okay not writing about travel. But the point is, I've always had it in me to travel. 

My mum's always asked me what I'm going to do after I finally leave university and I've told her outright that I'm going to move abroad, live somewhere new. Obviously, that's somewhat of a pipe dream but it's not so unreasonable to think I might traverse the world after my academics, is it? Of course it isn't, but being in a relationship sure does complicate the entire thing. 

Anybody recognise this feeling?

I've been in a long distance relationship before, and though it came to an end, there were so many other factors that led me to that decision that were more poignant than distance. 

So I'm heading into this upcoming LDR with a head full of positivity, because at the end of the day, I think a relationship will succeed or fail based on your commitment and love for that person, something that (hopefully) is unaffected by whatever distance there is between you. 

Mr. S and I will be a cute little 1100 (approx.) miles away from each other come September. Written down, that distance looks ridiculous, but I'm trying to get to grips with it by thinking about couples who are much further away from each other than that and whose circumstances are less than ideal. When writing this I couldn't get a video I'd watched a few months ago out of my head - it was a montage of recordings of soldiers returning home to their wives, girlfriends, and sometimes even their new babies. I can't find the exact one I watched, but if you follow this link a bunch of similar videos are on youtube. If you're even in a slightly emotional place when you watch one, there is a high chance of tears my friends.

Too emotional. 

Dealing with a fast-approaching LDR is daunting, mainly because you'd want to make the most of your time together before the time to leave comes, but we can't even do that. Though we spend the majority of the year together, Mr. S and I have stints that we're apart for when we're spending time with our families, who happen to live at opposite ends of the country. It's been a month since I last saw him, and we have one week left to go. And although there are some nights where all I've wanted is to fall asleep with him and some mornings where I've woken up from a dream thinking he's laying behind me, stroking my back... I'm thinking it's all good preparation for the real thing. This is the rehearsal.

Mr. S describes this coming year as 'a little nerve-wracking'. When I asked him how he was feeling about the whole situation (secretly hoping he was shitting bricks as much as I was), he replied with: 

"The reunion sex is going to be great and we won't be able to get enough of it, along with the goodbye sex."

It's a fair opinion. We can all see the pros of a LDR. 


At the end of the day, though, I can read as many advice columns, blog posts, and magazine articles on how to make a LDR work, or why LDRs are a bad idea, and I know that nothing's going to change - I'll still be jetting off to Europe with a boyfriend who lives in the UK. 

And maybe that's the key... acceptance?



Something else I noticed, guys and gals, is that no picture, no words and no video was able to reassure me 100% that things were going to be okay. Surprisingly, the words of Mr. S did (and he's not a man of many words).


"It's not an easy journey, especially with the cost of it and time off work... but I'm feeling positive because these are the things you have to do if you want to be with someone - letting you follow your passion along with fulfilling mine. I want to travel and see the world, but with a LDR brewing that's harder for me to do. Realistically, I want to be with you, anyone wants to be with their partner, to spend time together. But that can't stop you from doing what you want, otherwise we'll have regrets later on. Obviously this is going to be hard, but with skype and our phones it makes things easier. The only thing that could be thought of as a main worry is the whole trust aspect... but I trust you fully. Being able to trust you and know that when you're away nothing's going to change gives me hope. And it gives me places to tick off my bucket list before I'm old and decrepit. And just think about the reunion sex."

 Coming from the man I know and love, I already feel better about this upcoming year.

I may, however, need to invest in one of these bad boys...

Romantic night in for 1 and a half... sorted.

Love, B. xx

p.s. talk to me about all your LDR issues and successes! I don't just want people to chat to, I want to hear about the real thing :) so... tweet me, email me, or message me on facebook! Whatever it's about my lovelies, I always want to talk. xoxo