Love Thyself as You Should... 5 reasons why masturbation is a good thing for girls

Opening up on a pretty private, and conflicting, subject... that well-known taboo that is: female masturbation. God, that sounds so awful when put so scientifically, doesn't it? Whatever you want to call it though, self-love is something we've got to get used to, support and more importantly, enjoy! No more denying it girls, today is #masturbationmonday and here are 5 good reasons we should all embrace the wonder that is wanking...

You're sat round a coffee table, in your lounge, at dinner with your best girlfriends. The ones you've been friends with forever, and you keep nothing from. The subject of sex comes up in conversation (obviously) and somehow boils down to masturbation. 

'Have you ever tried it?' 

'Oh, no, I don't think I could, I'd feel dirty... have you?'

The killer question. Of course you've tried it. You got off last night because it was the only way you could get to sleep... and you couldn't get that Magic Mike routine out of your head. 

Damn you, Channing Tatum. 

'What, me? Masturbate? No, I think I'm above that'. You hear the words spoken and wonder who said them before you realise you've covered your crime and no one will even suspect that your vibrator gets plenty of use. 

Come on, we've all been there. Friends who are less open about sex and wanking in particular making us feel bad for wanting to give our lady a little love. And it's common for us women to deny that we masturbate, as well as to shun it as a taboo even though we'll go home and rub one out before Coronation Street. 

Well girls, I've had enough. Embrace the self-love.

1.  It's more fun than counting sheep...
My lovely ladies, what do you do when you can't get to sleep at night? When something's keeping you up but you're just not sure what it is? I'm not ashamed to say that every now and again when I find myself in this exact predicament, an orgasm puts me right to sleep. Leading up to your orgasm, a happy little hormone called dopamine is released throughout your body, followed by a post-climactic shot of oxytocin; basically an organic, naturally-occurring sleeping pill. No more medication, no more reading until our eyes can't stay open... a little lady love and you'll be dozing as soon as your head hits the pillow. And who knows, maybe you'll find yourself having some very sweet dreams...



2. If you won't do it for you, do it for your vagina.
I'm going to come straight out and say this one, as it's not particularly sexy: orgasms can help to prevent cervical infections and relieve any vaginal discomforts. That's right. I said it. Here's what goes down: during your orgasm, your cervix contracts, and this releases trapped, stagnant fluids (sexy, right?). Orgasming effectively flushes the cervix and vagina with fresh fluids and helps to promote the growth of healthy bacteria. Your cervix is a sensitive soul - let the girl breathe. 

Later-life incontinence prevention. Good birthing preparation. These sound like aspects of later life to look forward to, if you ask me. You know what helps you get this sort of control over your bladder when you're 60? Strong pelvic floor muscles. Wanking keeps your vagina in good condition as prolonged masturbation sessions increase the strength of your pelvic floor. 'Pelvic floor, shmelvic floor, it's all a myth' I hear you cry. No, ladies, no. Believe in your pelvic floor. Not only for the health benefits when you're popping a baby out or rushing to the toilet in old age, but for the short-term benefits too... strong muscles will give you a tighter vaginal squeeze; something all guys adore, as well as more frequent, multiple and stronger orgasms; something all girls need. 

Sure, it's easy enough to buy pelvic-toning beads for sexual maintenance, but to be frank, rubbing one (or a few!) out is far cheaper, I would assume easier(?) and more enjoyable than popping a grape-sized orb into your dearest friend down below.



3. You tell me you're stressed, I tell you to wank.
Masturbating allows you to focus on one thing: YOU. Having a time-out, an opportunity to be selfish and only think about your own pleasure, is therapeutic and good for the self. If we do so much as think about sex, our friendly hormone dopamine starts making its way through the body, giving us a sense of pleasure. This, my gorgeous girls, is what we recognise as getting turned on. We all know that tingly feeling, everything starts getting a bit warm. Now for all of those who don't wank at all, or very rarely do, imagine that feeling you know and love, mixed with the feelings we experience during sex with a partner... but you don't have to worry about anyone else. As we begin to engage in any sexual activity, endorphins are released -if you think you've heard of endorphins before, you probably have, as it is a hormone that give us a sense of well-being, often related to exercise. 

What I am not promoting is to constantly choose masturbation as a way to relieve stress, or to continually choose masturbation over intimacy with your other half. This is not the way forward, ladies. What I am suggesting, is to let yourself go when things build up at work, when you've got way too much on and a lot of responsibility. Lie back, put some music on maybe, have a glass of wine on your right side, and your vibrator on your left, and let your hands do the talking. You'll turn up to work a happier woman.

4. Goodbye cramps.
If anything says this post is for the ladies, this is it. Orgasms can help to relieve PMS symptoms, tension headaches, and menstrual cramps. We've all been there, most men and women are reluctant to provide sexual pleasure while we have the painters in. And to be honest, I don't blame them. I myself have never been a fan of having sex whilst on my period, and for that reason I never have. But obviously, that doesn't mean I'm not wishing I was having multiple orgasms in the week that becomes blowjob central for Mr. S. 

The time of the month is not a time when we're feeling our best. However, masturbating can help make the worst of our suffering a little bit easier to deal with! Simply the strength and intensity of an orgasm can help to relieve your cramps, but coupled with the hormones released during sexual activity you're bound to be feeling great in no time. I regret to say that I did know someone who had a play whilst on her period and it actually intensified her cramp pain, but the human body is a mystery. Experiment with it, and do what feels good.



5. Don't make your partner feel bad for not making you cum.
It's a sympathy card, I know. But it's important for your sexlife that you know what pleasures you, what you love and what you don't like so much so that when you're playing with him or her, you can communicate with them and they can feel great for getting you to the big 'O'. To do this, you have to play with yourself first. 

I didn't know this until I started researching for this post, but sex therapists actually strongly recommend that women who have not ever had an orgasm begin to work on it by pleasuring themselves. We need to get in touch with our sexuality. We can learn so much from ourselves - what kind of genital pleasure do we enjoy most? where do we want to be teased? We can figure all sorts of things like this out in a safe, controlled way, allowing us to feel comfortable to branch out and try things we may not have before. 

As if I even need to persuade you more; regular masturbation teaches your body how to respond sexually. So although your body may get used to your own technique when you touch yourself, relaying your experiences to your partner and being confident in your sexuality will allow him or her to please you in the perfect way for you. Quite simply, practice makes perfect. You'll thank me when your partner has that gleeful smile on his/her face after watching you orgasm under their touch.

That's it, girls. That's all I have to say on the matter. (quite unlikely, I'm sure we'll revisit the topic). There are countless other reasons why you should feel comfortable pleasuring yourself, for one, it increases your libido. So at the end of the day, if you wank, nothing bad is going to come of it, and you're giving your partner a sexual minx with the libido to last through the night who knows exactly what she wants. I may not be a sex therapist, but Mr. S goes crazy for both of those things about our sex, so what more is there to say... proof is in the pudding. So make sure you have dessert. 

Happy wanking!

All of this girls, all of this power, and it's right at your fingertips. Literally. 

Love, B. xx

p.s. I'd love to hear from you about your opinions on this! Whether you agree or disagree with what I've said, I wanna know how you feel (or how you feel yourself). xoxo